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Post  CandyGirl on Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:03 pm

I wrote this a week or two after an ex-boyfriend of mine committed suicide. It was a bitch to make and took several weeks to perfect, but all in all I am fairly satisfied with it.

The fire burns hot, within my dying heart
I cried ever since you said you would leave
Can't stand the thought of us being apart,
Tearing down the web I let my heart weave

Was your love, your kiss, your touch that's so dear
I want to feel your touch upon my skin
I can't stand a moment without you here
Just want to sit and see what could have been

But should I give up and close my mind?
The pain my heart's in will not go away
I want to comfort that I cannot find
I will see you again but just not today

Goodbye my dear, my love who was so sweet
I will see you in heaven when we meet

Posts : 94
Join date : 2011-06-21
Age : 24
Location : Indiana

My Other Me
Full Name: Emilia Ciarlo
Age: 22
Character Background: 100000000000000000000000000000

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Re: Sonnet

Post  Aledor on Thu Nov 10, 2011 5:09 pm

I'm not a very big fan of sonnets, mostly because mushy love poems are just not really my thing. This, however, is very good. Grammatically sound, rife with emotion, and overwhelmingly sad. I like it. Keep up the good work.

Look alive sunshine!

I wish I could get my head out of the sand, 'cause I think we'd make a good team, and you would keep my fingernails clean. But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize, 'cause I can't even look in your eyes, without shakin', and I ain't fakin', I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.

Posts : 261
Join date : 2010-07-15
Age : 26
Location : Alta Loma, CA

My Other Me
Full Name: Alice Rey Hill
Age: 19
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